Serafine Learns to Sing
Chapter
1: Like Honey Boiling Inside
If
she could explain it, she would, but Serafine was different. As a child,
Serafine wanted to sing, but Sister and Mother always quieted her, fearing the
legends of the great fire caused by the Ancestors, whose songs filled the world
with noise and cut us off from each other. They believed silence calmed the frenzied
Ancestor Spirits. But to Serafine, a world without song felt wrong. She longed
to sing, and she carried her hunger everywhere: undefined and vague, clear. A
deep, minor keening – pulsating out, hunting for the resonance, the hum, the
echo that could pacify the ache. Like honey boiling inside her, she felt a song
churning; readying itself to burst forth.
Chapter
2: Swept Away
And
then, one beautiful, silent spring morning, the mountain valerian, tiny planets
of color floating above the mountainside, bloomed early. Sweet in aroma; spreading
boldly. Serafine – waiflike and distant, gazed at a snow-white petal caught by
the breeze and swept away. She could not help but feel that life was about to
change.
A
surprise before her eyes; the sight of the flower, specter-like in the air. The
smell crept up her nose – sweets on a holiday evening. Unsure and unsettled,
Serafine ambled home concerned about a mystery, her anxiety mixed with
insecurity. Sister was waiting when she arrived, her devastating message told
in a whisper: Mother was gone.
It
happened quickly. She had been working high on the mountainside tending her
garden when she lost her foothold. The others saw only the white of her dress tumbling
down the steep mountain. Mother landed in the river far below, and was swept
away.
Chapter
3: The Golden Thread
Death
was not a stranger. Long ago, Serafine sat in confused silence at the news of
her stillborn sister, and was stunned when Grandmother died. But Mother’s death
created a singular and enormous hole inside her – an ache and a longing nothing
could soothe. It reached down into her stomach and twisted it. Her throat felt
swollen and pain throbbed in her gut. That was when her first song was born.
It
was a sharp, liberating sound that came from somewhere deep inside. Simple and pure,
it was her truth in that moment. A repeated phrase that re-fused reality, that wrapped its knotty fingers around the
feeling of loss: bottomless and sorrowful. It was hurt; it was shock, it was
tenderness, longing, and love. It was
a release. Serafine was reaching out for a connection that might never again be
found in her world. She could no longer be silent.
That
one, authentic sound was the first step in the journey Serafine knew she had to
make. She wanted to sing the song that could complete her new world, and make
sense out of the emptiness. Her grief song captured a feeling no other
expression could. But it wasn’t enough. The desire for more sent her into the
world, seeking the sound, searching for the song that was lost: a golden thread
connecting the sound to its source within her and without.
Chapter
4: The Invocation of the Spirit Birds
And so, coming down from the mountains, where home had always been, Serafine crossed the river on the great metal bridge left by the ancestors, stopping to add her tears to the swollen current that took her Mother away. She picked her way across the Middle Grass Lands. Grasshoppers and katydids leaped in the path before her, guiding her through the barley and the switchgrass. The sun was turning her pink face to the horizon and the sky was purple and gray as Serafine entered the Forest Lands. She knew home was lost because the ground became fleshy and soft, giving in to her bare footfalls one at a time. Her footprints lasted a few moments behind her. In the strange black sunlight, the forest allowed the sight of puddles filling her footprints and then leveling off – the water seeping back into the rotted leaves and twigs – the waste of a thousand years.
Deep
wrinkles were engraved in the bark of trees like Grandmother’s wizened face. Serafine
thought about her now, in the secret emerald verdure of the forest when she
sensed something new. She felt it in her neck before she heard it. A sudden,
surprising flutter passed her ears, then swept across her collarbone and
stroked her spine. Its sharp beak was mirror-black; reflecting the moonlight.
Its wings quivered and slapped the air, causing Serafine’s ears to open, her
body to vibrate. Then more came. Red, black, orange, yellow: it seemed like all
the birds of the forest filling their wings with her air, united as one. From a darkened clearing they swooped and
flew, low to the ground at first, and then swirling around her head, down her
arms, lifting her hands, cupped in the seconds before they flew off. They came
and went around her quick as a mistral on a winter’s night, circling and
circling in orbit around Serafine.
Frozen
and awed, she stood her ground when the Spirits of the Forest surrounded her, Hundreds
of flying, fluttering, squawking, babbling, cackling, chattering birds. Serafine
spread her arms wide, and the wonderful sound they created wrapped itself
around her. She felt their power pulsating between her shoulder blades. This
gathering of Spirit Birds was giving her a message – handing it off in the
gloaming, invoking the song inside her. The one sound she sought was not the
sound of one but of two, or three or four or many more.
Serafine
became overwhelmed by the beauty and frightened by the power: hundreds of
Spirit Birds creating one sound. After several moments suspended in the air
around her, the birds swooped away into the darkness of the Forest, their sound
trailing behind like the multi-faceted scarf of a bridal gown. Their vibrations
remained, slowly falling all around Serafine as water seeped from the mountain outside
her home which she feared she might never see again. When she could finally
move her arms, they instinctively wrapped around her shoulders. Serafine fell onto
the forest floor and cried. Her crying was deep, long, and wide. It reached
across the Grass Lands, up the mountain, and all the way back to home.
Chapter 5: Birdy Girl
Serafine
slept on the Forest floor. Moss was her pillow and the duff of generations was
her bed. She slept a long time, dreaming of mother working in her kitchen in
the mountains high above. She worked at the fire she tended night after night,
the source of warmth in the home. Serafine loved to hear Mother working the
fire, creating it, and tending it. And then, when she thought she was alone,
Mother would sing to herself. Her singing was a fragile ribbon of sound weaving
through the house to Serafine’s bed. Hearing it, Serafine knew she was home and
Mother was there. Mother would always be there.
The
sound tickled her ears in the dream, and then it tickled her nose. Something
wet brushed her face. Not quite awake yet, Serafine heard more soft cries –
high-pitched and soft, just like mother’s singing. From her bed of twigs and
leaves in the moonlight, Serafine perceived something else. It was a rattle, a
vibrating pulse. A cat was sitting on her chest. She purred softly. Just as Serafine
could see the moonlight reflected in her whiskers, she jumped, scaring the
creature into the woods. She couldn’t quite make out the shapes of the trees in
the darkness, and as her eyes were adjusting, she heard a faint chirp.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
It sounded like a question from beyond the trees. For a moment Serafine thought she was still with the Spirit Birds, and that memory rushed back, bringing her to her feet. But then she heard it again.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
It was a cat, wasn’t it? Serafine thought to
herself, and again she heard the question.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
If
she could speak the language of animals, Serafine thought that surely this cat
was calling her further into the forest. Charmed by the sound, Serafine picked
her way into the pines. The little cat waited in a clearing, squinting her
eyes; her furry white crown reflecting the moonlight, and as Serafine drew
closer, she could hear the purring and another chirping question.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
What kind of cat chirps like a bird?
She’s like a little birdy girl! Serafine thought to herself.Standing on her toes and slowly
stretching her back, Birdy Girl turned and trotted confidently into the woods,
chirping as she went, looking back to see Serafine following. Once, she circled
back to wrap her tail around her ankles, making sure Serafine was still with
her. And so, on they went. Serafine felt
the night become dark and darker.
And yet morning must surely be coming.
The
path seemed to be going down and down. For some reason, Serafine trusted her
new friend. Birdy Girl was leading her somewhere very special.
Chapter 6: Old Tree Woman
The
moon drooped close to the horizon and peered through the trees like a child
spying on her parents at midnight. Her light turned the ancient bristlecone
pines white. Their long needles were alabaster fingers, and they crossed
themselves like a gate before Serafine. Birdy Girl stopped.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
Her
question felt like a command.
Wait here?
With
a sigh, Serafine slumped down. Birdy Girl curled up, facing away, but listening
with turned ears. Here among the ancient pines wild red basil grew untamed. It
was the smell of licorice root on autumn nights. Serafine breathed deep,
remembering fights with Sister over the last piece from Mother’s bag. Mother,
ever the trickster, let them work it out, but still found another morsel hidden
in her dresses to give Sister, who always let Serafine win. She was lost in her
reverie, and so she didn’t feel the ground move beneath her. The sound of the
trees above made her jump and stand, facing the ghostly white fingers of pine
needle and wood crossed before her.
Slowly,
they uncrossed – looking like an old woman opening her hands to reveal a gift. It
was Old Tree Woman. She was reclining. Her legs were crossed, and her knees
pointed at the sky. Her hands were outstretched, dangling comfortably from her
long, branch-like arms extending from her sides. Birdy Girl chirped happily.
Chirrup! Chirrup!
She
was made of wood, but she stirred fluidly. She wore woven dresses made of feather
reed grass and downy brome. Her skin was a deep brown – almost black. Deep,
deep lines carved the bark that was her skin. Near the top of her Serafine
could sense eyes. She couldn’t quite see them, but she could feel their kind
weight upon her. Atop her head sat a massive crest made of knotty twigs and
thick pine needles woven into a complex pattern. Their spires rose to the sky. Birdy
Girl chirped again. Her tail wrapped around Serafine’s ankles. With deep
resounding tones, the Old Tree Woman spoke.
You are very far from home, love.
Her
voice was kind and low. It vibrated deep, and Serafine was awed to hear this
sound that reverberated with spirit inside her. The great Tree slowly extended
one ancient hand and Serafine cautiously placed hers inside it. The fingers of
the ancient tree closed gently.
Why have you left home?
Birdy
Girl chirped again, and the old woman gazed smilingly down at her. She lifted
the weight of her beautifully crowned head, looked at Serafine, and spoke
again.
Your friend is clever, isn’t she?
Serafine
stared quizzically, but then dropped her eyes and looked down.
Please don’t be afraid. This tiny cat led
you here. She knows I can help. I see pain in your eyes and loss in your
shoulders. My dear child, what have you lost?
When
Serafine answered, it was almost painful.
My mother.
Then,
like a stammering question she added,
A song.
Birdy
Girl chirped again.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
Old
Tree Woman remained silent for a long time. The moon dropped completely below
the horizon. In the miles behind them, Serafine could still hear the songs of
the Spirit Birds clamoring for the dawn. Here, with the moon now gone, the
night reached its final, darkest moment. The silence embraced the trio facing
each other in the blackness.
I am so, so sorry.
Serafine
only hung her head. Old Tree Woman continued,
I have been watching you make your way
here. You came a long way –down from the Mountains, through the Forest Lands. You
had nearly lost the path when the Spirit Birds found you. But you needn’t have
come this far just to find a song.
Serafine
looked up and explained herself very softly.
When my mother died, I sang a song. I ran
away from home because I loved the song I made. I want to find it again. I want
to sing again.
Old
Tree Woman smiled. Her face cracked open; her radiance beamed.
And so here you are …
Serafine
nodded.
Your song can be found within you and
without.You will discover it with the Wolves,
and
you will feel it with the Insects. But you will know it when you find the
Whale.
Serafine
thought she knew the Wolves. She feared to meet them now. She also understood
what Old Tree Woman meant by the Insects. But that last word confused her. What
was the Whale? Old Tree Woman sensed
Serafine’s question.
To find the Whale, you must make your way
to the Sea, my love. Do you know the Sea?
Birdy
Girl answered for her. Serafine just laughed in embarrassment.
I cannot tell you what the Sea is, love, but
you will know it when you find it. The Whale is there.
At
these words, the sky through the pines turned from black to grey. The Spirit
Birds made such noise! Again, Old Tree Woman smiled.
I think it is time for you to go, my
love.
At
this, the ancient pine tree spirit closed her gentle eyes. As she tilted her
great crowned head, Serafine could hear creaking. Her movements slowed, her
arms extended, her fingers lay open, and her legs slowly crossed again. Then
she stopped. Serafine admired the tangle of knotty pine reclining before her in
the indigo morning. Just then, the sun shot one finger of light above the
horizon. She had grabbed hold from the other side of the world.
Chirrup? Chirrup?
Serafine gazed at her new friend.
We better get moving, Birdy Girl. The day
will be warm soon, and I am getting very hungry!
Chapter 7:
The Song of the Wolf
The
pines that were home to Old Tree Woman marked the edge of the Forest Lands. Now
the ground had become rock and sand, and Serafine and Birdy Girl climbed
carefully down a gentle slope that led them, eventually, to the Flat Lands.
Again, the sky turned from grey to pink, and the great rocks of the Flat Lands
stood proudly in the light of dawn. Serafine let her passing fingertips stroke
each craggy megalith. They were as ancient as Old Tree Woman herself, Serafine
imagined. Coming round one large rock, the pair glimpsed the whole expanse of
the Flat Lands. They were shaped like a bowl – opening wide and wreathed by
hills and stones as large as any she had ever seen before.
They
made their way across the bowl, and the shadows grew long behind them. Serafine
watched with wonder as the sun rose above the panoramic edge. And then her
stomach dropped. Something leaped over the edge and stood watching her. It was
a wolf. It stood for a moment, and then tilted her head back and howled.
Serafine could see her breath silhouetted against the morning sky. The song of
the wolf was beautiful and terrifying. It began as one long tone. It rose, and
then fell quickly. It split the morning sky with its beauty and terror and
power.
Then
Serafine heard the response from the pack, still out of sight. They matched her
tone. They heard her, and knew her. Birdy Girl didn’t see the wolf at first,
and so she chirped questioningly when Serafine stopped. But she ran behind a
rock at the howling. Serafine would have joined her, but she was too afraid to
run. She couldn’t even move, and when she turned herself to look back at the
horizon, there were at least ten more wolves standing there.
Serafine
pivoted quietly around and then saw their quarry: a huge creature standing many
yards behind them. She had been in such a state of wonder at the sunrise, that
somehow they crossed paths without noticing it. With her feet planted, Serafine
remained twisted, looking behind. She squinted her eyes to make out the creature’s
shape. It was a massive elk. When she turned back around and peered up at the
pack of wolves, Serafine knew they weren’t staring at her. She simply lay in
their path. They wanted the elk. Serafine’s fear grew at this realization. At
the same time, Serafine felt something else, something new and strange. It was
a hunger, but more. She felt tense, something inside her was about to snap.
Just
then, another wolf howled. As it did so, the others called back to her. They were imitating her call, responding to
it. So that is what Serafine decided to do. She howled. She tilted her head
back and let the sound out. It came from somewhere deep within, and it held everything
inside her. She howled to the sky. Everything came out of her in that howl: the
pain of losing mother, the grief of leaving home, the fear and wonder of the
Invocation of the Spirit Birds, the love of Old Tree Woman, the guilt of
leaving Sister, the closeness she felt for Birdy Girl. She felt hunger for
food, yes, but there was a deeper hunger for something else as well. Serafine
wanted to join the wolves. As they descended down the edges, along the bowl of
the Flat Lands, Serafine howled again. It was a scream of terrible power and
fear and love.
They
came closer every second, but Serafine just stood there, but her toes curled
into the sandy ground. She was instinctively looking for purchase, preparing to
run, waiting for the right moment. As the wolves passed, Serafine, as if pulled
by an unseen force, coursed across the Flat Lands with them. She howled and
ran, and the wind blowing passed her took away her pain. Her howling freed her.
She was part of the pack. She called to them, and they responded to her. First,
she made a sound – a great, powerful howl that was clear and pure. They responded
as if they knew who she was. Serafine had become a wolf. She sang howling
melodies that unchained hers spirit. The pack supported her.
When
they reached the elk, the wolves began their gruesome task, tearing at the
flesh of the great creature. But Serafine stopped, surprised by her own
actions. The atmosphere around them became filled with the sweet, hot air of
blood. Of course she couldn’t do this!
Once again, she screamed a limpid howl, this time in confusion and frustration.
But then something else very strange happened. The wolves barked timidly back
at her and stopped eating. Very briefly, they moved away from the elk. They
kept their heads down and barked back at Serafine, until she drew close, not
knowing what she was doing. Her hunger, both for the elk and for the pack, had
taken over completely by this point.
She
moved in towards the fallen creature and deftly grabbed a great piece of meat
that the wolves had left for her. She took it and ran. As the distance between
Serafine and the pack grew the wolves closed back around their prey. Save her
frenzied breathing, Serafine was quiet as she made her way back to the circle
of rocks where Birdy Girl was hiding. The little cat was waiting for her when
she got there. She was afraid of her partner now, who had howled with the
wolves, but Serafine held out her hands and breathed softly. Birdy Girl came
carefully, craning her neck to sniff her fingers. She decided it was ok, and so
she sat on her haunches and squinted her eyes, but her ears remained piqued
towards the wolves in the distance.
Serafine remembered how mother had taught her to build a
fire, and so it wasn’t long before she had created a warm blaze and cooked her
prize with Birdy Girl close beside her. The two of them ate in silence, and Serafine
pondered. Something inside took over in that moment of awakening, of becoming a
Wolf. It felt just like her grief song – the painful, keening pulsation that
burst when mother died. She thought of her endless need to find that song
again. This was what brought her into the wilderness after all. Then she
remembered the words of Old Tree Woman.
“Your song can be found within you and
without. You will discover it with the wolves.”
Yes.
Within her and without.
Without her as the wolf: proud, powerful, part of a pack. Within
her was the howl: longing to be heard, a melody of freedom and joy. The sound
she made while she ran with the wolves was part of the song she sought. Here
was freedom. It was letting go. It was opening up and out to the world. Serafine
had learned to sing the Song of the Wolf. And even though the pack had run off
over the other edge of the bowl, Serafine knew that part of her would remain in
that pack forever.
Chapter
8: Into the Cloud Forest
Slowly,
Serafine and Birdy Girl spent the rest of the day climbing out of the great
bowl surrounding the Flat Lands. They scrabbled over boulders that were taller
than Serafine’s mountain home, and balanced uncertainly on loose stones that
led them higher and higher to the edge of the bowl. The air became thick and
moist, and the clouds were gathering when they touched the dizzying edge, and
Serafine caught her first glance of the Cloud Forest spread out below them.
Looking down at the greens and blues, Serafine was reminded of the stories
Mother loved to tell. Serafine and her sister would stay up until late in the
night, listening in awe and fear to the stories of the great Ancestor Dragon
whose fire split the world in two. Balanced on the ridge, looking down,
Serafine felt as if they straddled the Dragon’s back. Her wings stretched out
below them: the canopy of the Cloud Forest. Her breath of fire sent fingers of
smoke crawling up the steep hillsides. Serafine could hear the buzzing world
below. Constellations of insects awaited them in the jungle.
And
so the two friends began their journey into the Cloud Forest. Mud and grit
found its way underneath Serafine’s toenails as her bare feet stepped
delicately along the steep pathway that led into the Cloud Forest. Birdy Girl
chirped uncertainly, her tail stretched straight out behind her, its tip
quietly flicking from side to side. Moisture filled the misty air, the gray sky
loomed heavy, and sweat was dripping down Serafine’s back. The air was also
filled with something else. Masses and millions of buzzing, zig-zagging, eating,
flying, biting, nagging creepy-crawlies. There were great moths and
butterflies: Swallowtails, Longwings, Banded Peacocks, Green Pages. Spirals of
Leaf-Cutter Ants decorated the trees. Birdy Girl chased Hercules Beetles along
their path. Everywhere they turned, the travelers found life seething, pulsating
and breathing, dancing and unfolding.
Serafine
felt astonished to see great bunches of fruit hanging, and remembered, with
mixed feelings, the transformation that fed her in the Flat Lands. Here, she
could smell the sensuous Cami Cami fruit, tart and fresh and luxurious. She ate
freely, and filled her belly while traversing the floor of the Cloud Forest, sharing
her bounty with Birdy Girl, who would only eat morsels, favoring the chase
rather than the feast.
Although
the sun was hidden by the great canopy above, still Serafine could sense the
evening drawing near. She became tired and listless. She had climbed out of the
Flat Lands, made her way down the Dragon’s back, and walked for miles through
the Cloud Forest. It was time to sleep. She was ready to dream of Home, of
Mother, of the Mountains, of the Spirit Birds of Old Tree Woman, of the Song of
the Wolf, of one authentic sound followed by another, still singing inside her.
Drowsiness soon overtook her, and she made a bed for herself. Tonight, banana
leaves were her pillows. Birdy Girl circled round and round, kneaded the mossy
bed, cleaned herself, and squinted slowly. Soon, they were both asleep.
Chapter
9: The Song of the Insects
But
sleep didn’t last long. Serafine woke hazily. The only light came from a mossy
phosphorescence, like a faint green hue she could feel but not see. But she could
hear a hullabaloo! It took a few moments to register what she was experiencing.
It was a sound unlike any she had ever heard before. All the insects of the
forest, it seemed, were awake. Their pulsating calls surrounded her, like a vibrating,
scratching, squeaking orchestra warming up
in rhythmic syncopation.
Above
her head, she heard a call. It lasted a second, and then, from beyond came a
response. Back and forth, the insects called to each other, sang together in
unison, made space for each other, conversed or argued, Serafine couldn’t
really tell. Pushing her hands into the soil, Serafine sat up, quickly waking
Birdy Girl. The darkness was so complete that Serafine kept her eyes closed,
and only listened. Her ears opened wide, threading the needle of sound into her
spirit, and slowly making it move. She listened so closely to this new world of
sound that resonated inside her. Then she did something she never thought she
would do. She danced! Her arms were outstretched and her body synchronized to
the endless calls coming from insects all around. They pulsed, beat the air, throbbed,
and grooved. Their rhythms syncopated with her heartbeat in the night. She
swayed her head back and forth, opened her mouth in wonder, breathed deeply and
slowly, bent her knees, pivoted her feet, spun around and around, swaying her
hips in time to the Song of the Insects. She had found the pulse inside the
din. It supported her body, that moved now, freely, without thought or
conscious effort. The rhythms of the Insect Song filled her entire body, and
she responded to the invitation in her own way – swaying and dancing, while
Birdy Girl circled at her feet. All throughout the night, Serafine danced, twirled,
boogied, until, finally, the Song of the Insects began to slow down, and the
rhythm gave way to rays of sunlight peeking through the canopy above. That
night, Serafine had learned rhythm: The Song of the Insects. The pulse would
remain inside her forever.
Chapter
10: The Sand Dunes
And now, when she walked, Serafine strode in time to the
beat inside: a swaying dance in triple time. Her feet felt lighter. Her face
became a beam. In the morning light, Serafine and Birdy Girl traveled out of
the Cloud Forest. The ground again grew dry and parched. There were fewer trees
now, and the loving sun rose and burned from above. The mud became soil that
sifted loosely between Serafine’s toes. Birdy Girl’s padded feet sank into sand
that slowed her down, and made her chirp with uncertainty. Serafine missed the
long-winged Dragonflies that permeated the Cloud Forest. They gamboled in the
sky. All that remained now were the flies, green and effervescent in the air
like acidic clouds that bit and stung above the swaying Marram Grass.
The
air was thick and salty now, and Serafine’s hair was knotted and twisted with
moisture, like bed sheets on humid summer mornings. Soon, the sandy path rose
and fell in short hills. Serafine had to dig her feet into the Dunes just to
keep moving forward. Without knowing it, Serafine and Birdy Girl were rising on
the path. The land was climbing. They were making one final push to the Sea.
The
Sea: vast waves of sound constantly pushing and pulling and tearing and
rending, creating and giving. Serafine could smell it before she saw it. When
she was a child, on special days, Mother would tell the girls to wait outside
the kitchen, while the smells of her cooking
washed over them. What
surprise was she preparing? This is what Serafine thought of now, as the aroma
of the sea embraced her, stuck to her flesh, and embedded itself inside her.
What surprise was she preparing?
Then
she heard the sound. It was the relentless, mighty drone of the Sea. Finally,
the pair reached the top of the last Dune before the beach spread out before
them. To Serafine, the beach seemed like a windowsill, a shelf of land perched
just before the mystical Sea. Serafine tried to speak to Birdy Girl, but the
Sea swallowed her voice. Serafine had never felt such power before. Even the
fear of the wolves could not compare with the sense of awe she experienced in
this moment. It was then that Serafine remembered the words of Old Tree Woman:
“I cannot tell you what the Sea is, love,
but you will know it when you find it. The whale is there.”
She
had found it, she knew. But where was the Whale? In there? In the water,
that fell off the edge of the
world so far away? It was then that Serafine felt the first pull of the Sea.
She knew she must be in it. She longed to be surrounded and immersed in its
wonder. And so she left Birdy Girl seated on the hard black sand near the Sand
Dunes, and walked, so cavalier, into the Sea.
Chapter
11: The Song of the Whale
Serafine’s feet disappeared into the sand. Jade crystals
grasped at her ankles. The sound was so immense that it felt like silence. It
swallowed the world and filled her ears. It was a blanket of sound. And then the
first wave hit Serafine with a punch to her belly. Foam splashed into her face,
and she laughed in fright and surprise. Her dress became heavy and her waist
disappeared beneath the surface as the Sea began to pull again. It wanted her, and
she wanted it. Serafine closed her eyes, slowly spread her hands across the
surface, breathed deep – the salt and brine of millennia – and dropped beneath
the Sea.
Birdy
Girl had been watching the flies, so she didn’t see Serafine disappear. She
chirped in fear when she looked at the Sea and couldn’t find her. She pushed
off the sand with her back legs and walked nervously to the Sea, following the
girl she loved. But then the Sea stretched out with her terrible hand and took
Birdy Girl with one swipe. A wave crashed and pulled her into the deep tumultuous
Sea.
Soon,
from beneath the waves, Serafine burst with a gasp. She was swimming! The
wonder and awe of it made her laugh. Her feet dangled freely below her. She
never saw Birdy Girl disappear beneath the waves. Life was now beyond her
control. She had unwittingly given up everything. Nothing connected her to the
land anymore. She was free. And then, the Sea decided to take her too.
With
every passing moment, the beach seemed farther and farther away. It was then
that Serafine remembered Birdy Girl. She called out to her. She spun around in
the water, and her legs began to kick, as if by instinct, wildly beneath her.
She dangled above the abyss.
With
one hand, she pushed the hair from her face. Spinning and spinning, Serafine
could remember where she had left the tiny cat whom she loved so much, and who
had led her to this place of mysticism and power. She called and called and
called. As her vision of the beach rocked back and forth before her, Serafine
realized what had happened.
Just
then, Serafine heard the faintest cry over the din of the waves. She kicked
madly at the currents below her and pulled as hard as she could, following the
sound that faded in and out of her hearing. As she moved across the waves,
Serafine suddenly thought she saw the furry white crown of Birdy Girl’s head
above the water. She was too far away, and Serafine realized what had happened.
She cursed herself for leaving the tiny cat alone on the beach! She called out
to her again and again. She tried to swim as quickly as she could, but she was
just a child and the Sea was ancient and powerful.
Just
then, a swell rose above her and Serafine saw Birdy Girl. Her body floated in
the wall of water that was rising above her. Serafine screamed in pain for
Birdy Girl and dove down into the wave as it moved over her. In the green
darkness, Serafine could only hear the terrible Sea roiling all around her.
When she through her lungs would burst, Serafine pulled herself up to the
surface. She had lost Birdy Girl forever. She felt anger and sadness and guilt,
and she cried so loud, that her wails flew above the waves, and were caught up
in the salty air. Her desolation made her weak. She stopped kicking her legs,
dropped her arms, and closed her eyes. She never wanted to open them again. Serafine
drifted further and further away.
The
Sea filled her ears, and all she heard was the drone of the waves all around
her. This was surely the end. She dropped slowly down into the Sea, and stopped
moving entirely. A blackness so complete entombed Serafine from within and
without. She floated down into the void. Serafine and the Sea swallowed each
other.
And
now, she was walking up the mountain path that led home. Mother was standing in
the doorway, her hands outstretched across the doorframe. Serafine’s vision
closed in on the sight of Mother’s hands, as she ran them along the frame. They
made a long, almost whistling tone. It began soft, like a metallic bell being
rubbed with wet hands. It rose in intensity and then fell away. Serafine tried
to see Mother, but her sight was swiftly fading.
The
sound of Mother’s hands in the door became louder and louder. Each tone echoed
in the blackness that held Serafine so completely. Suddenly, Serafine’s eyes
were jolted open. Something was singing below her. The sound it made was
massive, hollow, resonant, and kind. Suddenly, the tips of her feet touched the
back of some vast creature that was rising beneath her from the deep. As it
rose, it pushed Serafine up towards the light. It sang as it moved.
As she was rising, Serafine could make out other sounds coming
from all around. She turned her head slowly in the thickness of the deep, and
could barely perceive three other mammoth shapes nearby. Their sounds vibrated
deep within her. Above the drone of the waves and the pulsating of the chasm of
ocean in which Serafine had become immersed in desperation, a pod of whales had
begun to sing. With a loud gasp of air Serafine breached the surface of the
Sea. A wave crested above her. Her tears multiplied the ocean. Serafine cried
out in grief for Mother, for Sister, for Birdy Girl, for home.
Just
then, a massive entity broke through the water. It swayed above her, then came
crashing down, and the water made lacy patterns in the air. Serafine realized
what she was seeing. It appeared to be a colossal fish: The Whale.
Three
of them arrived in the blackness of her sea of grief and despair and sang to
her. They surrounded her. Their song pierced her body, and moved her deeply.
They sang in harmony with the Sea’s droning power, with her feelings of emptiness
and loss. And then, Serafine sang too. Her song floated just beyond. It was a
long mingling tone. In the air above the sea, the two songs coupled, danced, caressed,
and embraced. They were different, Serafine and the Whale, but their songs completed
each other. This was harmony.
She
could not fully understand why, but it brought Serafine a sense of peace. She
knew she was doing all that she could to find her song and make her world right
again. She knew that she could do nothing to bring Birdy Girl back, or to bring
Mother home, but she could sing. As she sang, the whales guided her back slowly
and calmly to the shore. Serafine lay in a tide pool for hours. She cried and
sang throughout the night. The whales sang with her.
Chapter
12: Serafine Learns to Sing
A new
day dawned, and Serafine’s song was complete. The whales were gone, and now,
Serafine stood on the beach, watching the amber sun peek above the horizon. Her
light warmed Serafine’s face, reminding her of the Invocation of the Spirit
Birds so many nights ago. They taught her that she could not find her song
alone. She needed help:
Birdy
Girl
Old
Tree Woman
The
Wolves
The
Insects
The
Whales
The
Path
The
Mountains
The
Forest
The
Flat Lands
The
Cloud Forest
The
Sand Dunes
The
Sea
Melody
Rhythm
Harmony
She
thought of the family shad he found on her journey, and she was reminded of the
wolves, whose song became a melody. She remembered howling freely, and then the
wolves answered her. Together they created their own music. This was part of
Serafine’s song.
Then,
she caught the rhythm of the waves crashing at her feet. She remembered the
Insects in the night. They called to each other. They made space for each
other. In rhythmic syncopation, they listened. Their listening made a groove,
and Serafine danced with abandon and joy. This was part of Serafine’s song.
She
spread her arms, remembering the dance. It was then that she remembered
swimming, and her brash decision to leave Birdy Girl behind and enter the Sea.
She let go of everything and allowed herself to be swallowed by the Sea. But
then she was surrounded and held by the Song of the Whale. They created a
symphony together. They sang in harmony about grief and love and loss, each
supporting each in their way. This was part of Serafine’s song.
The
melody of the Wolf, the rhythm of the Insects, and the harmony of the Whale.
The
sun rose high, and Serafine began to sing, but this was a new song, one she
never heard before. It began with one true tone, like the Song of the Wolf. And
then she repeated it. She repeated it again and again, until it became a
groove, like the Song of the Insects. Soon, her melody took on a new form. It
changed and developed. Multiple tones formed new melodies that completed each
other, like the Song of the Whale.
She
danced and sang all morning, and was reborn in that song. She created something
truly new and authentic. She found the sound that healed her pain, that
empowered her to create something that reflected all her own differences, all
her own experiences, all her love, and loss.
Serafine
learned to sing.
Chapter
13: The Song Says Enough
It
was many days before Serafine finally climbed the rocky path that led back to
her mountain home. Sister was waiting in the door; her arms open wide. The two
held each other for a long time, and then Sister pulled back and looked at
Serafine, her eyebrows lifted in question, her mouth turned into a curious
smile.
With
her hands resting on Sister’s shoulder, Serafine began to move slowly, guiding
their feet. Quietly, on the mountaintop perched above the world that had taught
Serafine to sing, the sisters danced. Their hands rested on each other’s
shoulders, their heads touched – rocking back and forth in the groove. And then
Serafine looked into Sister’s eyes and sang her song. She nodded her head in
encouragement and Sister sang back; unsure at first, but in time with the dance
their bodies made together. As their melodies emerged and harmonized, the
sisters created
a new song, and the music
filled the yard outside their home, where everyone could hear.
In
time, Serafine would tell Sister of her journey. Of the wondrous Invocation of
the Spirit Birds, of magical Old Tree Woman, of the terrifying Wolves, of the
chattering Insects, of the mystical Whales, of beautiful, tiny Birdy Girl, who
led her along the way, and asked her so many chirping questions. But for now, all
she could do was sing. And the song said enough.